susanwrites

There have been some things going on in my life lately. Some things that have me thinking those deep, dark thoughts that keep you up at night. I found this old post from a few years ago that touches on it somewhat and I thought I'd share it again, (with some editing) because it explains a lot of where my mind is at of late . . . though it helps if you can read between the lines.

* * *
Hemingway said, and I can't remember the exact quote so I'll try to paraphrase it, he said that he couldn't write about Paris when he lived there. He had to leave Paris before he could put the words on the page that would describe his experiences. While living there it was too much, too intense, too something and it skewed his vision. He needed distance and the passage of time before he could tell his story.

Some stories, while not easy, can still be written while you are in the midst of living them. When my kids were little I wrote about events within weeks or months of them happening. It was fun, like putting things in their baby scrapbooks. I recorded their awkward moments, their growth, and many of our special family memories. I told stories about our family and I got paid for it. Now I can go back and reread those old articles and it's like picking up an old teddy bear and paging through a scrapbook of their childhood.

But other stories, perhaps those that touch the most painful parts of us, lay fallow for many years before the words begin to venture forth. I believe our emotions go into self-preservation mode and give us time to heal before we're strong enough to attempt share a piece of ourselves through the telling of a story. My first picture book, Can I Pray With My Eyes Open? rested deep beneath the surface for over 25 years before it burst forth, near fully formed in one sitting. I can tie that story to an exact moment in time, when I was 10 years old, and I know that the book was an answer to a question asked long ago. Another picture book, Oliver's Must-do List , seems, at first, to be a simple story about a mother and a child have a playday together but I can tell you now that it was born of guilt - immense guilt that my children were grown and I couldn't go back and spend more time with them. Hugging the Rock is a novel about fathers and daughters, but more than that, it is about making peace with things you cannot change. I never knew my father and I wondered about him for many years. I can't remember when I finally stopped searching but when I did, I realized that my own story was inching closer to the surface, closer to being ready to be heard.

Hugging the Rock is also about picking up the pieces after a divorce. Though many friends advised me to, I couldn't write about my own divorce in the years immediately after it happened. The pain was too immense, the emotions too raw. But time was a helpful balm. Eventually my emotions bubbled to the surface telling me when it was time to write the story. In the process of the writing there were still some deep and painful moments but because I had waited, I was strong enough to go to the dark places and still come out alive. Enough time had passed that I could accept the blame for what was mine and let go of the blame for anything else. I could see the details through the tears.

There are other childhood events I want to write about someday but they're still simmering and I'm still healing. Those stories will have to wait a bit longer. It's been almost a dozen years but I know I am not yet ready to write about my time in New Orleans. I don't know how long it will take before I am brave enough to face those demons head on. Not all my writing is tied to a piece of my past but I am making an effort to mine the treasures I have within because I do believe that's where the juiciest stories wait to be told.

As many of you know, I'm working on Flyboy's story right now. This project began over 25 years ago when my then-husband and I spent weekends out on the tarmac, our necks straining as we watched the sky at the air shows the way film buffs watch the movies.

What part of my life is like Flyboy's? Where's the connection? What makes it so hard to write? I don't fly planes. I'm not adopted. My dad wasn't famous. But I know what it's like for the main character to obsess about planes the way I obsess about writing. I know what it's like to wonder where you came from and how that might affect where you're going. I know what it's like to feel lonely even in the midst of a family.

When you've been working on a book for over 25 years, like I have with this one, the story becomes so wrapped up in your own life that sometimes it's hard to remember what happened to me and what happened to Flyboy. Was it Flyboy or was it me that found the box that held so many secrets? Was it Flyboy or was it me that met someone who knew their father and answered questions held silent for so long? Was it Flyboy or was it me that finally realized the true meaning of family?

I hope it is both. I hope I can tell that kind of a story, one that feels like it happened to you.

I hope that helping Flyboy find his answers will help me decide what to do with some questions of my own.
 

http://jkrbooks.typepad.com/blog/2009/11/after-ever-after-jordan-sonnenblick.html

Book: After Ever After (sequel to Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie)
Author: Jordan Sonnenblick
Pages: 272 
Age Range: 10-14 

I adored Jordan Sonnenblick's Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie, a book that I picked up largely because it had such a great title, and found to be much more than I had expected. Therefore, I was thrilled to learn that Sonnenblick has a sequel to Drums, Girls coming out in February, and even more thrilled to get my hands on an advance copy.

First of all, if you haven't read Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie, please do NOT read this review. Any description of After Ever After includes inevitable spoilers about the end of Drums, Girls. Here's a snippet from my review of Drums, Girls:

"What do you do if you're a thirteen year old boy (Steven), passionate about the drums, struggling to relate to girls, and then your five year old pesky younger brother Jeffrey is diagnosed with cancer? Answer: you pass through numerous stages of denial and rebellion, before coming to terms with your place in the situation. I mean it as a huge compliment when I say that this book feels like it was written by a thirteen year old. Steven's voice is believable and consistent and achingly real."

If you haven't read it, go read. Still here? OK, then. Don't say you weren't warned.

I had high expectations for After Ever After, and it did not disappoint. Apart from a few flashbacks, After Ever After takes place during Jeffrey's eighth grade year. He has beaten cancer, though it's left him with nerve damage in one foot and brain damage that makes school, especially math, a real struggle. On top of his disabilities, Jeffrey is dealing with his best friend Tad's interpersonal issues (Tad is also a childhood cancer survivor), the looming spectre of a statewide assessment exam, the absence of his beloved brother Steven, and his first real crush on a girl.

This is vintage Jordan Sonnenblick. We have an adolescent boy, flawed but well-intentioned, dealing with both mundane and profound issues (See also Becky Levine's thoughts on the nature of Sonnenblick's heroes). I personally think that the secret to Sonnenblick's success is that he "gets" the teen male voice. I can't think of anyone writing now who does this better. (Jordan is a former middle school English teacher - you can read his bio here.)

Jeffrey, like Steven before him, feels real. He is star-struck by Lindsey, the new girl from California. He looks up to his older brother, even after Steven (in a much-delayed rebellion) abandons him. Although he occasionally lapses into self-pity, for the most part he is matter-of-fact about his cancer and his physical difficulties. He is self-deprecating, and uses humor to mask his insecurities. Here are a few examples of Jeffrey's voice:

"He looks at me like I'm a particularly loathsome slice of school-lunch meat loaf and says, "Wow, congratulations! What do you want, a medal?"
That's how I meet my best friend." (Page 3, ARC)

"Sometimes it's hard to know whether I should curl up in a ball and die of embarrassment, or give myself a hearty high five." (Page 24, ARC)

"Mr. Laurenzano gave us a whole spiel about how just because science wasn't on the state test, that didn't mean it wasn't an important subject. Plus, he said, we'd be using tons of math and reading skills in our science work, so obviously we should pay careful attention in his class every single instant. At least, I think that's what he said, but I wasn't paying such careful attention." (Page 38, ARC)

The reason that I loved this book was that it gave me a chance to get to know Jeffrey, a character that I already cared about, from the inside. I love that After Ever After touches on several of Jeffrey's memories from his cancer treatment. We see Jeffrey's perspective on events already described by Steven in Drums, Girls. This made me want to go back and re-read Drums, Girls (which I read nearly 2 years ago).

But I liked other things about After Ever After, too. Tad is an especially intriguing character. He's prickly, defensive, and difficult, yet fiercely loyal to Jeffrey. Here's a passage that sums him up quite well:

"Look, Jeff, when you're all the way at the edge of the action, in a wheelchair, you see things."
"Oh, so all of a sudden having bad legs turns you into the Girl Whisperer."
"No, it's just -- everybody is afraid to stare at me, so they try not to look at me at all. While they're not looking at me, I can study them. And believe me, I think you have a shot with Lindsey." (Page 62, ARC)

Clearly, Sonnenblick has talked with actual kids who have been through cancer, and/or have physical difficulties. I don't have any doubt about that. There's also a fabulous passage (which I'm not going to quote, because you should read it with the book) from Jeffrey about how kids who have had cancer aren't surprised when things go wrong, in the way that other kids aren't. [I've actually found this to be true for adults, too. There is something about a cancer diagnosis that makes future challenges less surprising.]

My only complaint about After Ever After is that I think that Sonnenblick did a bit too good a job in conveying Jeffrey's flawed self-esteem. He sees himself as this short, chubby kid with a limp and a tendency to space out. This makes it feel a tad implausible that the gorgeous, funny, smart Lindsey will fall for him. But that's coming from me as an adult reader. I think that the target audience of middle school boys will probably like it. And certainly I was happy for Jeffrey in his triumphs, just as I felt for him in his tribulations.

After Ever After will be published February 1st of 2010. It is worth the wait, a must-read title for fans of Jordan Sonnenblick's novels. My suggestion, if you can spare the time, is to re-read Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie in January, to be ready for this one when it's available (I'll remind you). Though After Ever After is written from an eighth grade boy's perspective, I think that girls will enjoy it, too. Highly recommended.

Publisher: Scholastic
Publication Date: February 1, 2010
Source of Book: Advanced review copy from the publisher
Other Blog Reviews: Kiss the Book, Abby (the) Librarian, proseandkahn.

© 2009 by Jennifer Robinson of Jen Robinson's Book Page. All rights reserved. All Amazon links in this post are affiliate links, and may result in my receiving a small commission on purchases (with no additional cost to you).

http://jkrbooks.typepad.com/blog/2009/11/rampant-diana-peterfreund-ya-book-review.html

Book: Rampant
Author: Diana Peterfreund (blog)
Pages: 416
Age Range: 13 and up 

Rampant by Diana Peterfreund is a young adult fantasy novel chock-full of strong teen girl characters. We've seen other novels in which the villains are fairies, vampires, and zombies. In Rampant, the villains are vicious, poisonous, clever unicorns. As the story begins, teen Astrid Llewelyn learns that her mother's apparent delusions about the existence of unicorns, and their family's role as legendary unicorn hunters, are actually true. The unicorns, long thought to be extinct, are back, and more dangerous than ever. The only people capable of killing them are women who are a) descendants from a particular set of families; and b) virgins.

Fortunately, or perhaps not, Astrid and her cousin Philippa fit these criteria. They soon find themselves living in a former convent in Rome, with a group of other teens, training to become warriors. And the question of whether or not to have sex with their respective new boyfriends becomes a matter of life or death.  

Rampant has a compelling premise and a delightfully creepy setting (the crumbling convent is filled with old unicorn bones and other artifacts). Astrid is a likable protagonist, a gifted hunter who would rather be studying medicine. I found her a bit of a whiny adolescent in the early parts of the book, but she matured throughout the course of the story. The other characters are realistically flawed and diverse. I appreciated the fact that the girls didn't all become best buddies by the end of the book. I liked the pseudo big sister/little sister relationship between Astrid and her cousin. And I loved the way that Phil referred to Astrid by a variety of "astr" nicknames (Asterisk, Asteroid, Astrodome, etc.). I enjoyed the wordplay, and it made the relationship feel real. Astrid's got an occasionally snarky tone that works. For example:

"I was helping Cory, mostly because Neil's office was one of the few places in the Cloisters that didn't make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I found the hum of his computer rather soothing, but it was the complete lack of unicorn carcasses that really pulled the room together." (Page 114)

It's also interesting, of course, to read a book in which virginity, or lack thereof, is openly discussed. There's a scene in which all of the girls talk about why they've remained virgins, and the pressures that they've received to change that situation. I think that Peterfreund does a good job of making this a part of the book, and validating the choices that have enabled this set of girls to remain eligible as unicorn hunters, without ever getting even close to moralistic. There are quotes like this:

"Every time we went out was like some complicated game. What he'd try, when he'd try it, and how I'd stop him without making him mad or doing something I didn't want to do. That's the only thing I thought about every time we were together. Not about the movie we were watching or what we were talking about. Just waiting for him to make a move. It wasn't dating; it was preparing for battle." (Page 235)

I also flagged a number of passages about what it felt like for Astrid to be a hunter - a sort of supernatural set of senses. These passages are among the most lyrical in the book. For instance:

"I didn't feel the stairs, the weight of time, the depths of the darkness. I felt nothing but pursuit, fresh and free. Have you ever run on a moving walkway or escalator and felt yourself careening forward much faster than you could possibly imagine? I was a tidal wave of feet pounding, a lightning bolt of pumping arms. My blood boiled and my vision dimmed, until all I could see was the outline of the zhi. My prey." (Page 62)

and:

"And there, in the space between heartbeats, I sensed it. Not a sound, not a sign, not a feeling, but some combination of all three. Was it the whisper of a breath or a flash of dark on dark in the shadows under the hill? Was the air tinged with the scent of embers and decay? Was it that feeling of the night in the forest back home, where I knew something was watching me, and ignored it, and had paid the price?" (Page 81)

If those passages appeal, if the idea of strong-willed, super-fast unicorn hunters catches your imagination, then Rampant is a must-read title for you. I must admit that I personally found the pacing of Rampant to be a bit slow. While there is action early in the book, in context of individual unicorn encounters, I felt like the overall story didn't really get going until much later in the book. This may be true, in part, because Rampant is (apparently) the first book of a series. There's a lot to set up. But I would still recommend Rampant to fans of supernatural, strong-girl stories (like Graceling, the Mortal Instruments series, and Maggie Stiefvater's books, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, etc.).But beware. You'll never look at sparkly unicorn picture books the same way again.

Publisher: HarperTeen
Publication Date: August 25, 2009
Source of Book: Review copy from the author
Other Blog Reviews: Angieville, Strange Horizons, West Allis Public Library, The Hiding Spot, About Books, Sonder Books, and more.

© 2009 by Jennifer Robinson of Jen Robinson's Book Page. All rights reserved. All Amazon links in this post are affiliate links, and may result in my receiving a small commission on purchases (with no additional cost to you).

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http://jkrbooks.typepad.com/blog/2009/11/cookie-monster.html

Just popping in to say that while I enjoyed yesterday's Big Bird logo on Google, I LOVE today's Cookie Monster logo. Is that not the best thing ever?

Happy 40th Birthday Sesame Street. My childhood wouldn't have been the same without you.

And now, I have this crazy urge to leave the rest of my email unanswered, and go make cookies...

http://jkrbooks.typepad.com/blog/2009/11/wednesday-afternoon-visits-november-4.html

It's been a pretty active week around the Kidlitosphere. Here are a few links for you.

Today is Sesame Street's 40th birthday. Happy Birthday to Cookie Monster, Oscar, and the rest of the crew. One of my earliest memories is of singing "C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me" in the car. According to this news release, "Google, an innovator in the world of technology, has partnered with Sesame Workshop, the nonprofit educational organization behind Sesame Street, to create original “Google doodles.”  Starting today, Google will feature photographic depictions of the Sesame Street Muppets with the Google logo on its home page from November 4-10." Fun stuff!

Colleen Mondor has posted the latest installment in her "What a Girl Wants" series (a set of roundtable discussions that she's hosting with a panel of authors) at Chasing Ray. This week's topic is: mean girls in literature. Colleen asks: "did literature create the myth of mean girls or have the reality of mean girls created accompanying literature?" As usual in this smart series, the responses extend in a variety of intriguing directions.

The Readergirlz will be celebrating Native American Heritage Month for November, spotlighting Marlene Carvell's novel Sweetgrass Basket at readergirlz. In her customary organized manner, Little Willow has all the details.

At Pixie Stix Kids Pix, Kristen McLean takes on "the Amazon Vine brouhaha kicked off by Betsy Bird over at Fuse #8 last week", saying "I think this discussion has some larger implications for the industry, which is why it’s going to continue to get play." She begins by discussing the lack of transparency in the Amazon program, and moves on from there.

Picking up on another Betsy Bird article (her recent SLJ piece about KidLit blogs), Roger Sutton asks at Read Roger "whether or not there is such a thing as a blog-friendly book", if "some books more than others will appeal to people who like to blog about children's books." He also makes some interesting points about the usefulness (or lack thereof) of blogs for libraries researching for their book collections, in context of "The glory and the bane of book blogging is its variety".

Speaking of Betsy's SLJ article, Liz B. has a fun piece about the photo shoot for the cover at Tea Cozy. Betsy's article also inspired in librarian Ms. Yingling some philosophical musings on why she blogs. She also makes the excellent point that "The more good people we have commenting on books, the easier it is for the rest of us to keep on top of the huge number of new books that are coming out". 

Anne Levy is running a new contest on the Cybils website related to NaNoWriteMo (where people try to write a whole book in November). Well, actually she links to a contest, and then also asks people to share 50 word blurbs from their NaNoWriteMo projects, for publication on the Cybils blog. Fun stuff! 

Mitali Perkins recently announced an ALA Midwinter Kid/YA Lit Tweetup. She says: "Coming to Boston for the ALA Midwinter conference? If you're a tweeting librarian, author, illustrator, publisher, agent, editor, reviewer, blogger, or anyone interested in children's and YA lit, join us on January 16, 2010 from 4-6 in the Birch Bar at Boston's Westin Waterfront Hotel." Still not enough to make me wish that I still lived in Boston as winter approaches, but this comes close...

It looks like blogging friend Liz Garton Scanlon is going to have her picture book, All the World (with Marla Frazee), included in the Cheerios Spoonful of Stories program next year. Congratulations, Liz! Liz shares some other good news for the book at Liz in Ink.

Sixth grade language arts teacher Sarah asked at the Reading Zone for "a few “words of wisdom” for a presentation" on reading aloud to middle school students. There's some good input in the comments. It's an inspiring post all around, actually.

Quick hits:

• This week's Nonfiction Monday round-up is available at Books Together. Anamaria did a great job, didn't she?
• The latest Kidlitosphere institution to be profiled by Liz B. at A Chair, A Fireplace, and A Tea Cozy is the wonderful Just One More Book!, founded by Mark Blevis and Andrea Ross. See some additional good thoughts for Andrea (who is fighting cancer right now) at The Reading Tub.
• At Steph Su Reads, Steph comments on the YA novels included in Amazon's Best Books of 2009 list, and also offers her personal commentary on Amazon's Best Books for Teens 2009 list.
• At 100 Scope Notes, Travis will be celebrating book covers next week (Nov. 9 to 13). Travis also links to some Dr. Seuss Mash-ups that are, well, interesting.
• Cynthia Lord reports that there are now Twilight Barbies. Seriously. Leila reports at Bookshelves of Doom about an even more alarming Twilight-related accessory.
• Rick Riordan shares the scoop on his new Egyptian mythology-based series, the Kane Chronicles, at Myth & Mystery. The first book will be called The Red Pyramid.
• The new edition of The Wash Rag (PDF link), the Reading Tub's quarterly newsletter, is now available from Terry Doherty.

© 2009 by Jennifer Robinson of Jen Robinson's Book Page. All rights reserved. All Amazon links in this post are affiliate links, and may result in my receiving a small commission on purchases (with no additional cost to you).